Marriage Blues & Rules of a Happy Marriage

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Young & elderly couples may skip this article, because the former are just initiated to their romantic life, for which there wouldn't be any  "Blues" and the older have much more experience than me to share on "Blues". My experience would be dwarfed in comparison to that of theirs. 

With trepidation I write the following lines, because it shouldn’t result in sermons or lectures.

In India, marriage is still gracefully regarded as a sacrosanct life-time relationship involving a boy and girl. In most instances, these pairs are permitted to have a conjugal life only after their marriage. Pre-marital dating courtship is rare, but is slowly gaining popularity and acceptance. The present trend is for the pairs to get formally engaged and have  dating till marriage.  I see the trend as an adaptation of the western “Dating” culture, suitably modified to the Indian cultural reservations. 

It is during this “Dating” / Courtship we find partners discussing a lot, sharing experiences and  making promises. 

The new pairs often wonder how “Brahma” the creator could guess their respective likes & dislikes and aptly created a partner - “Specially made to Order”. 

As years progress, all couples have to go through the “Free Roller-Coaster Ride of Life!!!". 

Twenty five years ago, in our life, while on one such dates we both decided on two things as non-negotiable.

One should never draw a balance-sheet, and more so on how much he or she has sacrificed / contributed for the family. 

Rather it should be - "How much more can I accommodate?" instead of "How much did I sacrifice?"

We felt it was a tough and a revolutionary decision!!

These principles have seen us together for 25 years and hopefully would see us through for the remaining life also. Now we realize that the same pledge must have been taken by  all our elders and contemporaries, but for which we wouldn't see so many successful marriages in all our families. 

In an old Telugu film song of "Dr. Chakravarty", "Manasuna manasai ... Bratukuna Bratukai" song,  a stanza is "Ninnu Ninnu ga preminchutakai" (TO LOVE YOU AS YOU ARE!!!). This song is an apt reflection of the pure love between husband and wife. Watch the song in the following Telugu video and enjoy the lyrics

Recently I came across a poster on “Rules of a Happy Marriage” which I felt like sharing with you. I salute the writer of these lines who discussed the solutions to Marriage Blues. I frankly admit that I'm no exception and faced the "Blues" and  am likely to face more in future also. What  we wish is, we both should remember these solutions also!!!!.


 Our Earlier discussions on the Blog
 Your Earlier comments on the Blog
aparna said...

Hello Gayatri Garu ,

I am big fan of you . I love ot visit your website everyday .

The article of "Marriage Blues" is very beautifully said . I agree with you .

Aparna .

October 9, 2009 7:16 PM

Anonymous said...

nice article on a relevant team, but mrs.gayatri garu, there are many glaring grammar mistakes.just a "chunk of free advise". though it no way lessens the essence of what you said! and one more thing, you said you decided with your husband on 2 things, but they seem to be identical!both decisions seemed to reflect on non publicizing one's sacrifices.

August 3, 2011 8:27 PM
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